Borowitz Report

[Chicks]

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—Stung by his omission from the Trump administration’s recent war-planning chat, on Wednesday Kim Jong Un demanded to be included in all such group chats in the future.

“Why was this Goldberg person, who doesn’t even have nuclear weapons, included?” the North Korean dictator asked. “This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”

Kim said that he had downloaded the latest version of the Signal app and was waiting for Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth to ping him.

Calling his exclusion from the Houthi bombing chat “hurtful,” he said, “I shouldn’t have to read about it in The Atlantic.”

[RickeyM]

Originally Posted by Rajoo

The best excuse, it never happened and if you challenge us, we will come after you (implied). And if Jeffrey Goldberg challenges this, they will arrest him.



https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...-mi-rcna197944

And since "no classified material was sent to the thread." Goldberg published it's contents in their entirety. Putting the Jolly tRump Traveling Clown Show (featuring "Whiskey" Pete Hegseth) in a quandary. To charge Goldberg with treason they'll have to admit there was classified information in the chat. Revealing those involved to be either inept or liars.
Goldberg did redact the name of the CIA agent that "Whiskey" Pete outed in the chat FWIW.

[Oerets]

Originally Posted by RickeyM

Goldberg did redact the name of the CIA agent that "Whiskey" Pete outed in the chat FWIW.

By now ex agent whereabouts unknown.......


From the Onion.

https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-bl...-unlock-phone/

[4r54r5]

When I first read the details of Signalgate, something bugged me about Hegseth's Mililtary secrets training. Like, I've seen/heard this before. It finally occured to me he got his training from the movie Airplane!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JFDCd7JjTw

[Rajoo]

This is from 2019 but timely since JD and his entourage including his wife and more importantly Michael Waltz, who invited Jeffrey Goldberg in the Signal chat along with his wife. One would have thought that JD and Waltz should be the last people on earth advising on security matters for Greenland.

COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.

“As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,” a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. “We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.”

“Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government,” the spokesperson added.

What is interesting is that Greenlanders get free high school and college education (though their education levels lag even when it is free) along with free excellent healthcare. Now who would want to give that up and join MAGA Land?

https://archive.ph/x6xWW#selection-1423.0-1423.140

[RickeyM]

They'd have to be nuts, but for any mental health issues, treatment is free,