Senate Confirms Ketanji Brown Jackson to Supreme Court

[Chicks]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Minutes after Kentanji Brown Jackson was confirmed to the United States Supreme Court, Senator Ted Cruz warned that the confirmation of a qualified nominee set “a dangerous precedent.”

“Make no mistake, Judge Jackson has been confirmed for the flimsiest of reasons—that she is qualified,” Cruz said. “Now that one qualified nominee has been confirmed, we can expect more of the same.”

“Mark my words, Joe Biden and his cabal of Democratic cronies are ready to pack the Court with other qualified nominees,” he added. “The slippery slope started today.”

Recalling confirmation hearings of yesteryear, Cruz waxed nostalgic for an era “before the tyranny of the qualified seized control.”

“There was a time in America when a Supreme Court nominee could be confirmed because he liked beer and cried about calendars,” he said. “Those days, sadly, appear to be over.”