It's friday.

[piece-itpete]

Lastly, a song

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

https://youtu.be/fe0q8Lq3L2Q

[Chicks]

Elon Musk’s next baby mama: Hotties are applying for the job

https://nypost.com/2022/07/08/elon-m...g-for-the-job/

They want to take a ride on his rocket ship.

ROFL. You can always rely on a Rupert Murdoch publication for raunchy entertainment. Sadly, MAGAMorons rely on this rot for their "news".

[Chicks]

Dear MAGAMorons,

This is what we call satire. Sorry if it's above your comprehension level.


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an impassioned plea in open court, lawyers for Steve Bannon argued that imprisoning their client would result in cruel and unusual punishment for those incarcerated with him.

“The Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution explicitly bans cruel and unusual punishment,” Bannon’s attorney, Harland Dorrinson, declared. “We strongly believe that being locked up in the same facility with Mr. Bannon is precisely what the authors of that amendment had in mind.”

Forcing prisoners to be imprisoned with Bannon would violate “not only the Constitution but the Geneva Conventions,” he added.

“Speaking from personal experience, I have spent hours in proximity to Mr. Bannon,” the attorney said. “The prospect of spending five or ten years in such a state is too horrible to contemplate.”

In a final argument, the attorney noted the behavior of the federal prosecutors, who rested their case against Bannon after calling only two witnesses. “Your Honor, they clearly couldn’t wait to get out of here,” he said. “I beg of you, let us all leave.”

[Chicks]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Accusing the West Virginia senator of “collaborating with the enemy,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell angrily announced Joe Manchin’s expulsion from the Republican Party.

“Joe Manchin’s behavior during the past twenty-four hours has shocked and dismayed his fellow-Republicans,” McConnell told reporters. “He has gone over to the dark side.”

McConnell said that Manchin had “traitorously” broken with the G.O.P. leadership by “consorting with Democrats.”

“If Joe Manchin thinks his party will forgive him for this betrayal, he is sorely mistaken,” he said.

The party leader said that “what hurts the most” is that Manchin agreed to a deal that mitigates climate change and lowers health-care costs. “He no longer deserves to call himself a Republican,” he said bitterly.

[donquixote99]

Seen on Facebook:

I think "National Christians" is too wordy. That should be tightened up a little bit, don't you think? How does "Nat C's" sound?

[Chicks]

Frank Lesser @sadmonsters

The problem is that canonically Ariel’s bottom half is cod, whereas in this new trailer she appears to be half mahi-mahi—yet another example of the Left’s “woke” anti-whitefish agenda.

10:14 AM · Sep 13, 2022
·Twitter for iPhone

[Chicks]

Ketanji Brown Jackson Bravely Infiltrates Shadowy Alt-Right Group
By Andy Borowitz

September 30, 2022

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Carrying out a mission fraught with danger, a woman named Ketanji Brown Jackson has bravely infiltrated a shadowy alt-right group with a menacing agenda.

Although there reportedly are two other like-minded moles already embedded in the organization, Jackson will find herself surrounded by extremists bent on destroying many of the tentpoles of American society.

The group, garbed in black robes, meets in secret behind closed doors in the nation’s capital, experts believe.

Having already plotted to destroy women’s bodily autonomy, the group is currently scheming to eliminate voting rights and marriage equality, as well as to hasten the spread of military-style assault weapons across the country.

Harland Dorrinson, a former Navy seal, hailed Jackson’s courage. “I was behind enemy lines in Afghanistan and Iraq, but I am in awe of what she’s trying to do here,” he said.

[Pio1980]

Originally Posted by donquixote99

Seen on Facebook:

I think "National Christians" is too wordy. That should be tightened up a little bit, don't you think? How does "Nat C's" sound?

I use "Jesus weasel" to differentiate Trump drunk Christian hypocrites from the living examples of the principles, f.i., Jimmy Carter.

[finnbow]

[piece-itpete]