It's friday. - Page 226

piece-itpete · #**2251** 10-25-2013, 09:06 AM

Maybe Dave can use this new pickup line:

'Hey baby, wanna pet my monkey?'

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-n...monkey-2527868

Pete

piece-itpete · #**2252** 10-25-2013, 09:23 AM

piece-itpete · #**2253** 10-25-2013, 09:28 AM

"A new book claims that John F. Kennedy's brain was stolen by his brother Bobby. That seems almost unbelievable, doesn't it? – that there was once a time in this country when politicians actually had brains worth stealing." –Jay Leno

"The popularity of Congress is at an all-time low, according to a recent poll that says Americans like head lice more than they like Congress. But you know, I think the real story here is that some Americans like head lice." –Conan O'Brien

"They're still having a lot of trouble with Obamacare. First the website had all these glitches, and now people are getting a busy signal when they try to apply over the phone. So you can't use the Internet and you can't use the phone. And now fax machines are like, 'Look who's come crawling back to Mr. Fax Machine.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Yesterday at the White House, a woman standing behind the president nearly passed out while Obama was speaking. Obama turned and held her while she got some help. See, that's under the good coverage of Obamacare – where you're actually taken care of personally by Obama. That's the platinum package." –Jay Leno