Lyin' Ryan Is At It Again

[d-ray657]

Originally Posted by Ike Bana

Uh...OK. It was kinda represented as unmoderated by an unamed source when I first showed up here. Liberally moderated then...much better anyways.

When I first read your reply, I thought you said "Hey, I resemble that." I really cracked myself up...unless you meant to say, I resemble that.

It was an intentional malapropism, but as you noticed, not the best one. One might say that, as a comic, I'm not a bad lawyer.

Regards,

D-Ray

[Pio1980]

Originally Posted by d-ray657

It was an intentional malapropism, but as you noticed, not the best one. One might say that, as a comic, I'm not a bad lawyer.

Regards,

D-Ray

There's still time to develop your chops, here's one of my fave Lawyer giggles supposed to be true occurrence;

* Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

* Witness: "No."

* Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

* Witness: "No."

* Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"

* Witness: "No."

* Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

* Witness: "No."

* Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

* Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

* Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

* Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."


But wait, there's more! See here;
http://www.u.arizona.edu/~spikep/Hum...20Laughing.htm

[merrylander]

My favorite was the lawyer cross eamining the witness


Lawyer; Are you sexually active miss?

Witness; No sir, I just lie there.

[d-ray657]

OK, my favorite:

Trial ends and corporate lawyer sends a text to his senior partner: "Justice has been served."

Senior partner texts back: "Appeal immediately!"

Regards,

D-Ray