Quote:
Originally Posted by Oerets
Glad to read you were able to find and get to know them.
My Wife's Father was adopted and never was able to find his twin Sister or birth Parents. Not really wanting to try at all...
Did not like talking about them. Much preferred talking of the family who adopted him.
Just say bridges burned..... 
Wife is of mixed views on with DNA and us being tested what is or if's with her Dads biological family.  |
Well...interesting and very different from my experience. It's all anonymous here on the web, and the parents and adults of my childhood years are all dead, so I dont have to worry about hurting anybody's feelings.
My adoptive parents shared nothing about my origins, they feigned ignorance and there was the exteme privacy of the adoption systems. It was a lie, of course...I found out after my mom's death in 2006 that I was adopted by them because they believed my adoptive dad was also my biological father throu an affair he had with my birth mother. My adoptive mom was quite the martyr...after she died an aunt disclosed that she once said, "I wasn't going to let my husband's son go to an orphanage." In her papers I found the papers from my open adoption, along with a news clipping from The Chigago Sun July 1945, where my older half brother and sister were picked up by child protective services when our mother, pregnant with me at the time, didn’t come back to pick them up from the babysitter. So...I had names, but I was unable to track them down, until I got an Ancestry match to my niece in 2018.
Why couldn't I find them? Even though it was a rare open adoption? Our mother gave us all away, gave away all her children, the same week in March of 1946, my brother and sister were 5 and 4 years old, I was four months. They went to the same family, I went to the alleged bio-father and his wife. Since we have re-connected, my sister has said several times..."It's a mini-series."
I finally did the DNA in 2018 just to determine if I was half Jewish, turns out I'm half Irish (Leahy for christ's sake) and half mixed western European. The family was the wonderful benefit of the DNA. We've loved each other since the day we made phone contact. There's no history to screw it up, there's no reason not to love each other.
The three of us are pissed off though. Pissed off at those we call "the adults". The adults, who when we were children, and there were plenty of them, knew exactly what my name was and exactly where I was, where I went to school, and where I lived. None of them said a word. Our mother's entire family knew it. My sister's dad's family (we had three different dads, of course) all knew it. Our mother died in 1988. She had reconnected with my brother and sister, in the 1960's and never said a word to them. I found the evidence in 2006, but I couldn't find them, their last names changed when they were adopted. My sibs didn't know until 2018 when my niece from the DNA called her dad and said, "Daddy, you have a younger brother." My adoptive parents knew...it was a goddamn open adoption. They knew exactly where my mother was, her name, and that she had two more boys, two more half-brothers, who we can't find. We are mightily pissed off sometimes.
Sorry this is so off topic and so long.