[donquixote99]

Today's Borowitz report, with some revisions introduced by myself (thought I'd punch it up a little....)

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz-based Report)—Four Democratic congresswomen issued a brief statement on Monday urging President Donald Trump to go back to Russia and improve the "complete and total catastrophe" in that country.

In the tersely worded statement, the four lawmakers—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, of New York; Ilhan Omar, of Minnesota; Ayanna Pressley, of Massachusetts; and Rashida Tlaib, of Michigan—indicated that Russia was the "worst, most corrupt and viciously-led nation anywhere," and required Trump’s immediate attention.

The statement went on to suggest that, if Trump fixed the problems plaguing Russia, he could return to the United States and “show us how.” This would be assuming he didn't succumb to any of the unfortunate incidents that seem to affect would-be reformers there, and also that he didn't feel so at home there he'd choose to stay.

In a tweet, Trump mocked the congresswomen, contrasting them with the “real revolutionaries” honored over the weekend on Bastille Day. “In 1789, these brave people stormed Louis XVI’s airports,” he wrote.