[merrylander]

A Republican dies and goes to heaven, he sees many clocks on the wall behind St. Peter.

St. Peter what are all those clocks?

They are liar clocks.

Liar clocks, how does that work?

Evereytime some one lies the clock advances one minute.

Well that one on the left is still at noon.

That's Mother Theresa's clock, she never lied.

What about the one at two minutes past noon?

That's Abraham Lincoln's, he only told a couple of fibs.

With an evil smile the man asks "Where is Boehner's clock?

Jesus has it in his office, he's using it as a ceiling fan.