It's friday. - Page 382

donquixote99 · #**3811** 06-07-2019, 09:34 PM

Total takedown, high-poetry style. Author credit: Carol Ann Duffy.

donquixote99 · #**3812** 06-16-2019, 02:23 PM

Trouble at White House, reported by Borowitz...

Quote:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A leading candidate to replace the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, was disqualified after telling the truth repeatedly on his job application, the White House has confirmed.
According to the White House chief of staff, Mick Mulvaney, the candidate got high marks in his job interview by demonstrating “utter disregard and contempt for press freedoms.”
“We then had him do a practice press briefing in which he was relentlessly abusive, obnoxious, and insulting,” Mulvaney said. “We were all, like, ‘This is our guy.’ ”
But after a thorough examination of the candidate’s job application, “a troubling series of truthhoods emerged,” Mulvaney said.
“It turned out that he was telling the truth about his education and previous employment,” the chief of staff said. “It was a pattern of honesty that we found deeply disturbing.”
Mulvaney said that the “inexcusably veracious” answers had eliminated the candidate from further consideration. “We all feel like we just dodged a bullet,” he said. “This whole episode just demonstrates how tough it is to replace Sarah Huckabee Sanders.”

donquixote99 · #**3813** 07-04-2019, 02:30 PM

finnbow · #**3814** 07-05-2019, 07:18 PM

finnbow · #**3815** 07-05-2019, 07:35 PM

donquixote99 · #**3816** 07-20-2019, 11:58 PM

A British perspective on the current scene....

https://youtu.be/b6Rho9tvpNM

finnbow · #**3817** 07-21-2019, 10:57 AM

Pastor Said He Was Sucking Demons Out of Men He Sexually Assaulted, Lawsuit Claims.

https://www.newsweek.com/minister-ne...orcism-1449847

Evil spirits come out!

Chicks · #**3818** 08-07-2019, 07:48 PM

Monica Lewinsky Trolls Mike Pence’s Advice To Spend More Time On Knees

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5...b09e72973f8dd9

Pence is such a dweeb.

finnbow · #**3819** 08-08-2019, 07:04 AM

donquixote99 · #**3820** 08-16-2019, 01:21 PM

DENMARK OFFERS TO BUY US

COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.

“As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,” a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. “We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime, pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.”

“Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government,” the spokesperson added.

A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.

If Denmark’s bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. “We believe that by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,” the spokesperson said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/boro...m=TNY_Borowitz