Stressful times for me, and an apology

[BigElCat]

I was banned from Audiokarma for good reason.

On Wednesday, I indulged in some pyscho-typing after consuming about 12 Blue Moon Ales.

I was clean and sober since Aug 10, 2010, until about a year ago. I started hanging out with an old buddy, a dude I smoked a bunch of marijuana with back in the 1980's. He wasn't drinking or using, and then he started smoking again.

This dude is like my only friend in the real world, so the temptation was extreme. I started smoking. Quit going to AA meetings, because I couldn't be honest.

Things are not going well for me.

Age 56, arthritis in my spine pinching the nerves in my arms. My dad went into a nursing home with Alzheimer's / Parkinson's, and I'm pretty sure the expense of that will consume any wealth I might have inherited. I think I have the dementia coming on, as well.

My job's too stressful for me, physically and mentally. And the commute.

Anyhow, I just plain 'lost it' on the other website.

Sorry.

[Yggdrasill]

Hey man,

I'm sorry to hear what's going on with you. We all go through trying times. I hope that you get through yours quickly and healthily.

[Rajoo]

We all react differently under stress and some of us go back to old habits. I am glad that you are able to talk about it. Take care of yourself the best you can and please remember, a drink does not solve problems, only makes them worse.

Good luck, rajoo

[Pio1980]

I have 37 plus years, main problem was booze but I avoid weed to avoid acting on really great bad ideas, like a little won't hurt.
Stick around, and stay in touch in this thread.

[Pio1980]

The times have been hard for sure, with in-person meetings inaccessable for many and other stresses related to the last year. My riding bud and close friend of 40 years whom I brought into the program and sponsored ended his life a few weeks ago.
Multiple issues, but this shouldn't have been the answer to them.

[Oerets]

The stress of the last year has taken a toll on many. I also have noticed people being on edge with short fuses.

Found myself typing then thinking and deleting replies after reflection many a time.


If you think there is something going on physically seek someone for answers. Fear of the unknown is a powerful one.


One day, one step at a time, moves you forward.

[donquixote99]

Hey Big Cat, many years of true and certain experience behind the above answers. You can trust these guys to give you a good nudge or two, I think.

Wishing you the best every day.

[Dondilion]

Hello Big Cat! I read your pain and I just feel inadequate to give advice. Anyhow, I sincerely hope you can find a good way forward.

From an old head.

[barbara]

BigE, I hope today is a better day for you.

[UncleAng]

BigE: The first step in problem solving is to acknowledge that there's a problem. God bless you for being so forthcoming; you've already solved half the problem. You know what you have to do to get back on track. We're all with you.