It's friday.

[piece-itpete]

For sure, and we're all the richer for it

"Hey I thought this was nice. To celebrate Earth Day, a group of schoolchildren in Washington each planted a hair plug in Joe Biden's head." --Jay Leno [Pete note - so wrong, but so ^(% funny!]

"See, I got to admit, as a comedian, I'm gonna miss President Bush. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn't give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden." --Jay Leno


Pete

[piece-itpete]

"Next week, the president of China will be at the White House. And good news — he has no plans to foreclose." –Jay Leno

"Well, give you an idea how important this visit is from the Chinese president, I understand Joe Biden is busy learning some Chinese curse words." –Jay Leno

"And in a major reversal of U.S. policy, President Obama has narrowed the conditions under which we would use nuclear weapons. He said we'd only use them against Iran, North Korea or Fox News." –Jay Leno

"The government says the economy is bouncing back. So now we can go back to making cars nobody wants. That will be good." –David Letterman

"People were standing in line around the block all weekend to get an iPad. Out in Arizona, John McCain was waiting in line for an IBM Selectric." –David Letterman

"And they've been talking about the iPad for months, maybe years. I'm telling you, it took longer for the iPad to come out than it did Ricky Martin." –David Letterman

"Experts believe the iPad will revolutionize the way people procrastinate." –David Letterman

"Michelle Obama held a town hall meeting on C-SPAN to answer questions from kids about her anti-obesity campaign. The most popular question from kids was, 'Why are you doing this to us, lady?'" –Jimmy Fallon

Pete

[Charles]

Thank you Pete.

Chas

[Sandy G]

Good 'Uns !

[piece-itpete]

I grew up around engineers, this fits to a T:

[Charles]

Originally Posted by piece-itpete

I grew up around engineers, this fits to a T:

I'm sure you've already heard it, but here goes.

An engineer was showing his new bicycle to a friend.

His buddy was impressed. "That's a great bike, where did you get it!"

The engineer replied, "I was walking in the park and this attractive girl rode up on a bicycle, got off, opened her blouse, and said "Take anything you want!"

Chas

[merrylander]

That Dilbert strip make me laugh if only because I was technical editor for a book that this guy from PacBell wrote. He admitted that he had been Scott's boss back at PacBell. They never put his picture on the book so I have no idea what his hair looked like.

[merrylander]

A Republican dies and goes to heaven, he sees many clocks on the wall behind St. Peter.

St. Peter what are all those clocks?

They are liar clocks.

Liar clocks, how does that work?

Evereytime some one lies the clock advances one minute.

Well that one on the left is still at noon.

That's Mother Theresa's clock, she never lied.

What about the one at two minutes past noon?

That's Abraham Lincoln's, he only told a couple of fibs.

With an evil smile the man asks "Where is Boehner's clock?

Jesus has it in his office, he's using it as a ceiling fan.

[d-ray657]

Originally Posted by merrylander

A Republican dies and goes to heaven, he sees many clocks on the wall behind St. Peter.

St. Peter what are all those clocks?

They are liar clocks.

Liar clocks, how does that work?

Evereytime some one lies the clock advances one minute.

Well that one on the left is still at noon.

That's Mother Theresa's clock, she never lied.

What about the one at two minutes past noon?

That's Abraham Lincoln's, he only told a couple of fibs.

With an evil smile the man asks "Where is Boehner's clock?

Jesus has it in his office, he's using it as a ceiling fan.

Good one Rob. That's one of those where you can change the names to expose the guilty. Kind of like ethnic jokes.

Q: How do you drive an ethnic crazy?

A: Put him in a round room and tell him to pee in the corner.

Q: How do you get a graduate of Ethnic University off your porch?

A: You pay him for your pizza.

Q: Why did Ethnic University install artificial turf at the football stadium?

A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

Regards,

D-Ray

[merrylander]

The other was at a small pub in Edinburgh, a young American was discussin politics with a local.

he says, "My grandfather was a Republican, my Father was a Republican, and I am a Republican"

A soft brogue from the back of the room, "Whist laddie, hae ye nae ambeetion?"