The Remains of a Woman's Life...

Sandy G · #1 05-05-2010, 10:09 AM

(This Un's gonna be long, so bear w/me...)
Most of y'all know about my "little Girlfriend", Bethany, the daughter I never had...Well, guess I shouldn't call her "My Little Girlfriend" anymore, as she's now someone's wife...Yeah, last year, her mother, Marcie, moved in w/this woman who was dying w/terminal cancer, to take care of her. Marcie & one of her kids, Jess, got to live there free. Bethany was living in hell w/her father...But that's a story for another day. Anyhow, Nancy, the dying woman had a son, Cory, who is 20, & he & Bethany, then 17, soon became an Item right after she met him at Thanksgiving. Nancy died at Christmas, Cory asks Bethany to marry him, she says yes, & about a month ago, she turned 18 on a Tuesday, & married Cory that Thursday... Needless to say, all this was quite sudden. She WASN'T preggers, either, thank the Lord for THAT much...We all kinda wanted her to wait...I told her to go stay w/him for awhile & see what he was like after he quit being on his best behavior w/her... But she would have nothing to do w/that. We DID however, feel a lot better when he came in from Ft. Stewart one weekend & we got to meet him. Big boy, seems to have his head screwed on relatively straight for a 20-yr-old, & he & Miss Priss ARE "Crazy-Go-Nuts" over each other. Anyhow, they had to get Nancy's house vacated, Cory & Bethany got a storage shed & they moved a lot of her stuff in there. Bethany came home last week-Her sister had a Baby Shower, & she took The Mighty Valdez & moved some more stuff, but the big items she left. Well, Kim, her aunt, Lauriann & I finished things up..Along w/Kim's son & another boy. I never met Nancy, I wished I had, but after boxing up her "stuff" I feel like I kinda do...And it WAS kinda weird going thru a person's stuff, someone you never met, boxing up her LIFE like that, & tossing it in my garage, 'cause Bethany forgot to bring home the key to the storage shed...She's SUPPOSEDLY gonna come home for Graduation & "go thru" all the knick-knacks to see what she wants to keep & then I guess we'll "Yard-Sale" the rest...99.9% of it was stuff I would never have brought home in the 1st place, but then a woman would have no use whatsoever for umpteen bigazz Tooob radios & TVs, not to mention my arsenal...I kinda felt Nancy might have been watching, & if she was, I hope she understood...Cory had no family beyond her, his dad died several years back, I think he has some distant cousins, but thats it. Bethany's extended family is pretty big, I hope he'll come to accept us. By the bye, Marcie & her new boyfriend, never showed their faces to help, pretty typical for her, & of course, Randy, Bethany's sperm-donor, wasn't there either...But the people who really care for her were...And Cory or no Cory, she'll ALWAYS be My Little Girlfriend, the longest day I live...I think she kinda knows that...

merrylander · #2 05-05-2010, 10:24 AM

My brother ended up doing something similar with the effects of guys KIA in WW II. The Canadian military did this so there would be no 'surprises' sent back to the grieving families. He did not talk about it much and he was mustered out soon after that - RCAF.

d-ray657 · #3 05-05-2010, 11:29 AM

Sometimes we take the attitude that things are just things, but that's not really the case. The things we keep say some things about us. Would anyone notice that we have some old but operational devices around. (My in-laws use a toaster they were given as a wedding present over 50 years ago.) Do we have the best and newest of everything. Are our things taken care of - are the trashed? What kind of music did we listen to? What books are in the bookshelves? Are there tools? are there art supplies? What kind of art did we keep around the house? Does it look like we are hoarders? How many family photos do we keep - have displayed? Did the house look like it was a home?

I would be happy for folks to see basketballs, bats, gloves, baseballs, footballs, camping equipments that we have around the house, because that reminds me of the time I spent with the boys. I'm kinda proud of some of the stuff I have restored. My music collection might have some people scratching their heads. My wife does a great job with the family photos. If we are rich in any way, it is in quilts. Most of the women in her side of the family were quilters, and we enjoy their comfort night and day.

Her nursing uniforms and stethoscopes would say lots about her as well. My law books would start the jokes flying.

On the other hand, does our stuff say things about us the we don't want it to say? That's one for personal reflection.

The multiple unfinished projects; the size of my pants; all of the prescriptions I wouldn't need if I watched the diet and exercised; the Barry Manilo albums (JK!!) and on and on.

Regards,

D-Ray

piece-itpete · #4 05-05-2010, 12:33 PM

Sad, and happy?

You've talked a lot about her over the years, I wish her the best.

Pete

Sandy G · #5 05-05-2010, 02:12 PM

"Sad and Happy"...Yeah, that's pretty much it, Pete...We went to pick her up in Easley, S.C. last Monday-That's about halfway-she rode up to there w/the wife of another soldier. Anyhow, Lauriann & Kim were upfont, me 'n' Bethany were in the back seat...Oh, boy...We Poked at each other. We prodded each other. We made rude noises at each other...About every 10-20 minutes Kim or LA would get a bellyful of it & go, "Children...." & me 'n' Bethany would Cease & Desist...For a minute or 2. I can't remember when I had so much silly, childish, unbridled Fun, though...Havin' Bethany around was kinda like growin' up all over again, 'cept THIS time yr best buddy was a girl...Bethany was always a tomboy, big-time, & in a way, she had more of a boy's disposition. Once she made her mind up on something, that was it, & you could lead, follow, or get outta the way. I'm sad that I've lost something that was VERY dear to me, but happy that she LOOKS to be happy. That's all I ever really wanted for her. You CAN'T live their lives for 'em, I don't think you should even if you could, but I wish I, we-LA is pretty crazy about her, too-could have spent a little more time w/her. I sure have tried hard to be a good father figure/daddy/crazy mad "Spoiling" uncle to her...

merrylander · #6 05-05-2010, 02:22 PM

And I think you did a damn good job old friend.

d-ray657 · #7 05-05-2010, 02:35 PM

If only all kids could have someone like you in their life, Sandy, the world would be a happier, and safer place.

Regards,

D-Ray

Charles · #8 05-05-2010, 07:37 PM

You're a good man, Sandy.

Chas

BlueStreak · #9 05-08-2010, 05:05 PM

The world is full of "Bethanys" that need someone like you in their lives Sandy.

"The true measure of any mans life is whether or, not, by any measure great or small, the world is a better place than whence he came."-(Don't remember who said that.)

Bethanys world is a better place for having you in it Sandy.

I salute you, my friend.

Dave

Sandy G · #10 05-08-2010, 07:20 PM

The thing is, I've gotten SO much more OUT of my relationship w/her than I put in-Even w/all the time & money I put into it. The money never had a bearing on it at all, though, of course. And all the Good Times we had...I'd shake my fist at her, do a "Ralph Kramden"-"One of these days, Bang ! Zoom ! To th' Moon !" & she'd just look at me, "Yeah, right..." Or the time I had her up at the farm, she was drivin' The Mighty Valdez. We had Round Bales of hay down in the field, I says, "You can tap one w/your front bumper, REAL EASY, & watch it roll..." She did, it went about 10-15' or so, she squealed w/glee, & we had to "Tap" EVERY ONE of 'em in that field...Or the time I had her over at Elrod Falls, a waterfall not too far away..."Can I take my shoes off 'n' stick my feet in ?" No. "Pleeze ?!?" No. "Pleeeeze.." NO ! "Pleeze..." OK, just yer feets... "Can I get in up to my knees ?" No. "Pleeze ? " No. "Pleeze ?!?" NO..."Aww, c'mon.." Oh, all rite, but that's it. Yer mother will SHOOT me... Then a family showed up w/2 girls her age, they all knew each other, & next thing I knew, we had a regular Pool Party a-goin'...She's always had me wrapped around her little finger...But I soon learned that unless the request was TOTALLY crazy, it was best to go ahead & let her do what she wanted...You were prolly gonna lose anyhow, otherwise..I told her any number of times that I sure do wished that I'd had ME a "Sandy" when I was her age...