Gotta get my sanity back.

[barbara]

Originally Posted by one1

I think today is gonna ba a everything sux day.I just cant find any possitive even though it is all around me.I will try some music it usualy lifts me.Maybe some....LADYS AND GENTLE MAN,THE ROLLING STONES.

Hope the music helps.
Today is my day off work and am taking husband to eye doctor. Then I have to go for a blood test. Have a good book tucked in my bag for reading while sitting in waiting rooms.

[one1]

Originally Posted by barbara

Hope the music helps.
Today is my day off work and am taking husband to eye doctor. Then I have to go for a blood test. Have a good book tucked in my bag for reading while sitting in waiting rooms.

OK thank You,Hope the vist goes well,,Hey I always thought when in the doctors office or waiting room the reason the named it Patients,was for the fact you were alwys waiting and had to have the Patience of A saint.that just me sayin though,,Ok Barbara You go give em hell.

[one1]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZesbTTpsVk

plus sound is very good

[one1]

Ok gonna finish early,got some disney movies and we are gonna have a family night,the Wife the cats and the dogsLOL,oh boy,Why does a drink always sound good but I know that it will not be crazy.never have been a wine guy but maybe some wine sippin might be a good thing.just to take the edge off.

today I was told that I beat up on Myself,I dont think I do.I just have a habit of guessing someones thoughts might be and say it.it deflects in case some thing is said that I do not agree with.I am different that I have no problem understanding.I think it is from growing up in such a diverse way,and seeing things in a way that did not match my genetic memorie data.like a cat raised as a dog,If you will.I always thought i had a unique outlook on life but lately I am reassesing things.this is kind of a nefggative area I will not dwell much on it.memorie still doing good only had to stop twice to tink of spelling.saw the Stones today on youtube a '98 concert those boys are pretty good,never liked em much as a young person thought they were posers,but I was wrong they can walk the walk. okYou all Signing off,Cleon Out

[one1]

oh man I am a Bad person sometimes,Dan If you see this I am sorry.didnt mean to fuck with you head man.you set it up though.ok family night went well Wife is fast assleep cats are outside eating a bird they killed ,the momma wanted to bring it in for the kittens ,I told here it aint gonna happen.they can do all that shit outside.well pretty good day kinda melancholy.but Good Wifes seizure was abummer,gotta get her back in under the cat scanner.turned the window units on today gonna be a hot weekend.I think I preffer winter,it is easier to get warm than it is to cool down.ok well this day is officialy over,Cleon Out.

[one1]

And Night becomes day,Everyon e is fed,sharpening Crayons for my Wife,she is a Coloring feind she does 2 or 3 books a week,and She also like Jigsaw Puzzles she does the 1500 piece,About one a week ,Before here Stroke She did Ceramics Quilting Crochete,needle point all of it,She is just Hyper active.It takes a lot to keep her going,But I would not have it any other way,I asked God to Let Me have her Back when she was in the hospital,Her Prognosis was total blindness and total paraylisys,but God Gave Us another Chance And I do not take it lightly,she Is my World.Ok enough of that moving on ,I feel soso ,gotta get some listings on the bay,She needs summer clothes and so do I.I wear my Clothes till they are just tatters,I have shirts form 10 years,I dont waste on clothes for myself,

I get the Frugal/Miser thing from my dad He did not throw any thing away,I remember,When I was taking care of them I had a part time at the local cafe as a short order cook making $5.75 a Hour and it was only 4 years ago but that was the min wage it changed a bit after,But I would Bring home my meal for them to split up usualy a big Hamburger(they were Large),one day I was cleaning the cupboards and I came across A stack of to go boxes my dad had washed and stored.he also saved the large frill picks wich was not good since they had been pushed through the beef(bacteria heaven) but He saved everything

Life is nothing but Memories for me anymore,My wife and her care keep me active,but I am trying to be more productive too.It could be worse,I think if she required more I would not be able to handle it.But I would Die Trying.ok so my morning post went this way ,that is good though,I am gonna let my shrink see these when I get enough posts in.I think he will see a possitive increase in my attitude..

[one1]

WOW this is still on top of open topics from yesterday I gues it was a dry day here at PC,got major work done today,5 minutes at a time but hey I will take it anyway it comes.gotta light a fire under my indian Doctor when I go tuesday,I need my oxygen and machine.Frustrating when I know what will make me better but other assholes are delaying the process.We Had Quiche for dinner,I know real men dont eat Quiche,well it is my Wifes favorite so any smart ass can go get hiselfed lubed and tubed.me and the dogs and cats had Beef tips with cajun creole rice,I love rice,that is why I think I would do good with the chinese.Put the Wife to bed I aint far behind,

I sleep on the couch just more comfy that way and until i get my C pap machine it is were I will be I am told I sound like I am sawing down an entire forest then i will stop breathing for a minute or 2 then start back,When I was first diagnosed I was afraid to go to sleep,But i just said to hell with it what ever will be.

feel ok today no major concerns same level of pain as always but I am used to that now.just glad to be more active.getting there slowly but surely,never gonna be back to 100% but I need to get better than this,I want to take the wife and see the world.or most of it.

[one1]

Day Somethin,thousand of my Life On earth,Not feeling to bad just shakin the cobwebs off from Sleep,one more cup o coffee should get it.Wife is back to normal I gave here a extra Dilantin,her levels are low,stupid doctors.still gotta get her in and Scanned so they can up here meds.Going through all that I have I see that the medical profession is mostly Guess work,Hit and miss.And the majority of Doctors could give a Shit About the Oathe they take.But as with all of humanity there are still good Doctors too.Gonna attempt to be productive again today and not have any confrontations with anyone.

well gotta go get that coffee and start the day,report Later.

[one1]

end of Another beautiful day,All the residents of the sanitarium were kinda restless today,seemed to have a hard one for firearms.understandable.but with more firearms than population total what can you do.just hope you never get a cap popped in your ass.but It is just another way to die so what does it matter.dinner was a hit with all ,hamburgers,and the wife had leftover quiche,she realy likes that stuff.the little kittens are starting to get all over the house,they are some little speedsters,I like watching em play.

Hope I get my breathing equipment this week,sold off a bunch of my Car collection,got decent price but nowere near actual value.oh well these are peices I dont mind selling though.when it gets down to me selling the goodies I sould be about gone anyway.still got my pocketknives when I last took inventory it was 9,000 or more.got some good ones some were made by native americanswith verynice inlay.And I got a lot when I was abroad.I am a pack rat by nature,I see the usefullness and beauty long after others have given up.

we are coming up on memorial day,to me they are all memorial day I miss my dead loved ones everyday.people are funny the way they have to have a day for everything.Death is just another phase of living it opens the door to the next level of enlightenment.I welcome death and look forward to it as does my wife,In her diminished capacity she is fearless and knows.she leads the devotionals at the daycare,not my cup a tea too mushy for me,and long winded.I think I will give House of cards a break find some movies.well if any one is reading these Good Nite,start again tommorow.

[one1]

ok first post of the day,It is hard being the way I am,people tend to alienate themselves from me and not take me serious,yes I do clown a lot,that is the jovial type I am.and I see others with various forms of humour.I generaly ignore the vibes I pick up.but as with anyone there Are times I feel offended.not really a biggie but we all run on being appreciated and feeling like we have a contribution to add.there are some I noticed that avoid me like the plague,cant figure that one yet.but it is all good.at the end of the day we are all in our respected beds getting ready for sleep to begin.and another day blossoms into itself.and we continue were we left of being the people that we are.

this whole Life on earth concept is pretty cool once you figure out how it works.I am still working on on some parts of it.