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  #1  
Old 11-11-2009, 09:09 PM
luvvinvinyl luvvinvinyl is offline
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Posts: 42
Wink This HAD a CL link in it, but I see there's no D&S.

So, here is the text:

Subject:* Great Craig's List listing...

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T..

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimpmobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!
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  #2  
Old 11-11-2009, 09:34 PM
Grumpy's Avatar
Grumpy Grumpy is offline
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Awesome first post
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  #3  
Old 11-11-2009, 09:41 PM
luvvinvinyl luvvinvinyl is offline
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I'd pay money to introduce 'Alex' to a fellow I know.
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  #4  
Old 11-11-2009, 09:41 PM
Charles Charles is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 10,348
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvvinvinyl View Post
So, here is the text:

Subject:* Great Craig's List listing...

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T..

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimpmobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!
Kimber?

Kool!!!!

Personally, my CCW is a S&W M60...Chiefs Special, stainless, loaded with Golden Sabres +P...with a trigger job by yours truly. Semi bobbed hammer, 50th Year MSHP commerative, badge #616 (troopers gun), Hogue grips....slick as snot on a doorknob.

But I never carry it. If I thought I really needed a weapon, I'd take a 12 ga or the Kalashnikov.

But this is Bugtussell.

Cute story...not too sure how accurate it is.

But ya can't go wrong with a "Gubbmitt Model Cal .45".

Only kind of "Big Gubbmitt" I like.

Chas
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  #5  
Old 11-11-2009, 09:43 PM
luvvinvinyl luvvinvinyl is offline
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I got it from the internet, so it MUST be true.
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  #6  
Old 11-11-2009, 10:04 PM
Charles Charles is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 10,348
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvvinvinyl View Post
I got it from the internet, so it MUST be true.
Only if it came from "The Free Republic"!!!!!

Don't put much stock in the Democratic Underground or Daily Kos.

Chas
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  #7  
Old 11-11-2009, 10:06 PM
Charles Charles is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 10,348
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvvinvinyl View Post
I got it from the internet, so it MUST be true.
Good to have ya on board, buddy!!!!

Luvinvinyl, huh?

That mean ya got a "record player"?

Chas
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  #8  
Old 11-12-2009, 02:29 AM
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d-ray657 d-ray657 is offline
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Location: Johnson County, Kansas
Posts: 14,401
Welcome to the free speech society, LV. Just remember to pass through the metal-detector on your way here.

Regards,

D-Ray
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We won't get fooled again; Don't get fooled again
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  #9  
Old 11-12-2009, 07:50 AM
piece-itpete's Avatar
piece-itpete piece-itpete is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Land of the burning river
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvvinvinyl View Post
I got it from the internet, so it MUST be true.
Rotflmao!

Good to 'see' you luvinvinyl!

Pete
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“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.”
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  #10  
Old 11-12-2009, 08:37 AM
luvvinvinyl luvvinvinyl is offline
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Posts: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Good to have ya on board, buddy!!!!

Luvinvinyl, huh?

That mean ya got a "record player"?

Chas
Thanks, Chas.

Do I have a record player? Three in the house, and five on semi-permanent loan to friends and family. ("Use it as long as you like. If you have any problems, call me. If you ever want to get rid of it, I'll take it back, thank you.")

...and about 2500 records to go with them. (I had to pare down, there, for a while.)
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