should my daughter visit her mother in jail? is there a benefit to visiting?

[Countryford]

romance her a little.

Just becareful with this. Find out what the rules are. We allow holding hands and a quick kiss at the beginning and ending of the visit. Other than that, that is it. No sense in getting the visit cancelled, because you didn't know what was and was not allowed.

[1924]

I just wonder if it will be an unpleasant experience. Since she will see her mom in a uniform and in custody and other inmates and the whole environment

[merrylander]

She will see her Mother, the lady who gave her life. Certainly she may feel anger at the people who have imprisoned her and tried to humiliate her with prison garb. But if they are mother and daughter they will outlive this.

I know a lady whose mother beat her unmercifully as a child, yet she still prays that God will take her into Heaven.

[noonereal]

Originally Posted by Zeke

I'd take her as seven months at county isn't precisely prison, especially for a $$$ crime, depending upon facility.

Visitation will likely occur in an open area similar to a hospital waiting room and I wouldn't expect a vigorous (unlike prison, especially maximum custody) search upon entry.

It's like visiting Mom in any sterile area except she doesn't get to leave.

excellent post

visit mom IMHO is the best course

[noonereal]

Originally Posted by merrylander

She will see her Mother, the lady who gave her life. Certainly she may feel anger at the people who have imprisoned her and tried to humiliate her with prison garb. But if they are mother and daughter they will outlive this.

I know a lady whose mother beat her unmercifully as a child, yet she still prays that God will take her into Heaven.

excellent post

[barbara]

Take the daughter to see mom.

It's not like she doesn't already know that her mom is in jail.

And now, more than ever, it is important to strengthen the bond between them.

And, your daughter might learn valuable lessons....
Lessons about good and bad, right and wrong and lessons about how family members s there for each other even during the hardest of times.




Many good wishes being sent to you and your family.

[bobabode]

Originally Posted by barbara

Take the daughter to see mom.

It's not like she doesn't already know that her mom is in jail.

And now, more than ever, it is important to strengthen the bond between them.

And, your daughter might learn valuable lessons....
Lessons about good and bad, right and wrong and lessons about how family members s there for each other even during the hardest of times.




Many good wishes being sent to you and your family.

Plus one 1924.

[Ike Bana]

The way I'm approaching this is...what I would do as opposed to what you should do.

She's 15, not 5 or 6, so if it were me, I would be attempting to figure out what she really wants to do. If she wants to see her mother and you won't allow it, you may find down the road that you are dealing with a level of resentment from your daughter that you did not imagine was possible. That also goes for being forced to visit her mother if she doesn't want that.

If it were me, I would be doing my best to find out what she actually wants, and make sure it's not what she says she wants because she fears that the wrong choice will make you or her mother unhappy. She needs to know that whatever her choice is...both her parents will support that choice. She's 15, and IMO old enough to choose. And two or three months from now she might change her mind...and if she does, I would support that.

That's what I would do.

I would say one other thing. If mom is PO'd if she finds out her daughter isn't coming...that's too bad. Mom wasn't thinking a whole lot about the consequences for her 15 year old daughter when she was in her decision making process. It doesn't seem to me this should be a whole lot about mom or dad's feelings.

[1924]

Originally Posted by Ike Bana

The way I'm approaching this is...what I would do as opposed to what you should do.

She's 15, not 5 or 6, so if it were me, I would be attempting to figure out what she really wants to do. If she wants to see her mother and you won't allow it, you may find down the road that you are dealing with a level of resentment from your daughter that you did not imagine was possible. That also goes for being forced to visit her mother if she doesn't want that.

If it were me, I would be doing my best to find out what she actually wants, and make sure it's not what she says she wants because she fears that the wrong choice will make you or her mother unhappy. She needs to know that whatever her choice is...both her parents will support that choice. She's 15, and IMO old enough to choose. And two or three months from now she might change her mind...and if she does, I would support that.

That's what I would do.

I would say one other thing. If mom is PO'd if she finds out her daughter isn't coming...that's too bad. Mom wasn't thinking a whole lot about the consequences for her 15 year old daughter when she was in her decision making process. It doesn't seem to me this should be a whole lot about mom or dad's feelings.

she says she would not mind going. My wife says bring her if she wants to come.

[1924]

All right believe it or not I have not brought my daughter yet for the time her mom has been in jail. They have talked on the phone however


managed to talk to one of the main guards that works at that jail. She said that since my daughter is a teenagers it is perfectly fine to take her. She also said use it as a learning experience (what does that mean do you think), ask your wife to be honest about what happened, and to simply present it as a punishment for wrong doing. Is this a good idea?