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President Obama's approval rating is down to 39 percent. And Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who admitted to smoking crack cocaine, went up to 49 percent. How does this make Obama feel? He'd be better off smoking crack than passing Obamacare." –Jay Leno
"The new mayor of New York City is a progressive Democrat with an African-American wife who used to be a lesbian. Or as Fox News reported, the apocalypse is upon us." –Conan O'Brien
"The mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford, has admitted that he smoked crack a year ago when he was in a quote, 'drunken stupor.' Geez, if that guy smokes crack when he's drunk, I'd hate to see what happens when he smokes crack." –Jimmy Fallon
"Half of the state of Colorado voted to secede from the United States. This is what happens when you legalize marijuana." –David Letterman
"Last night the Obamas gave out dried fruit to more than 5,000 trick-or-treaters. In a related story, today workers outside the White House had to sweep up a bunch of dried fruit." –Jimmy Fallon
Pete
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“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.”
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